anxiety,  depression,  faith

Faith Like a Mustard Seed

“If you had faith even as small as a tiny mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, ‘Move!’ and it would go far away. Nothing would be impossible.’” [Matthew 17:20]

 

I pray for a mustard seed for you. For you to know these mountains can be moved.

When hopelessness comes in like a dark cloud, it’s hard enough to muster strength let alone a mustard seed of faith. Faith feels out of reach sometimes- hoping in these things unseen and unknown and at times utterly unbelievable. To believe that there is something more than this present darkness. To believe that there is someone who could love us in this mess we’ve made. To believe that there is someone who can save me from the miry pit and give my life hope again.

But let me tell you, there is rich substance in this tiny little seed–

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. The fundamental fact of existence is that this trust in God, this faith, is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living. It’s our handle on what we can’t see. [Hebrews 11:1, KJV//The Message]

To the girl who sits with anger bubbling up and surging forth, overcome with the tidal wave of her own emotions.

To the woman who weeps quietly over a lost seed-sized baby with its own identity and a future here on earth seemingly ripped away.

To the couple squeezing hands across the hospital bed as one fights an internal battle of blood cells, not quite sure how much time is left.

To the man who has spent months pouring a morning pot of coffee and pouring over hundreds of job openings, desperate for a way to provide for his family again.

To the boy who knows hunger like I will never know and would give anything for a home-cooked meal, but even more than that, a home.

To the one overcome with shame for past failures and faults, who feels like there will never be another way than this old pattern that is bound to keep on repeating.

For the one who feels that this life is unbearable, it bears repeating–these mountains can be moved.

A mustard seed.

That is literally all it takes.

I’m praying that you can dig down deep to find a seed of hope planted in your heart- a small spark that keeps pushing you forward towards a bigger light.

That this mustard seed of hope would wedge its way through the seeds of doubt and anger and fear and worry and sadness and would GROW and move mountains in your life.

I picture a tiny seed that pushes through the soil to send deep roots down into the earth. Soon a seedling, and then a tree, and then shoots of life, and then fruit all pushing the mountain to the right or the left or eventually INTO THE SEA because that tree has grown so strong. But all you need to start with is a tiny seed.

I’m living proof of this mountain moved with the smallest of seeds. I had become a shell. I was broken, anxious, controlling, depressed, and without hope. With bookshelves full of books that could fix my problems but more problems mounting up than I could possibly fix, I was tired of talking and tired of digging and just plain tired. I had tried to find my hope in my own strength for far too long. Eventually my fragile shelled cracked wide open, but inside I found a mustard seed. It was buried and barely alive, but there it was. Pulsing with the little faith I had left. Helping me to breathe in and breathe out with just enough strength to look upward. To see that there had to be another way; there had to be more than this way I’d been doing things.

A mustard seed of hope. I found a Redeemer. I came to know this Counselor. I grew not just in knowledge about, but in closeness to this living, loving Savior. He scooped me up and started to put me back together. There it was–a seedling, that grew slowly but surely into a little tree. The ability to keep stepping forward. Shoots and branches. Genuine relationships with people who loved me without my mask of perfection. Fruit in service and the ability to love others, with a real love that did not require or expect anything in return. Hope for the future.

The troubles are still there at times, and the pain still pops up. But there is a greater hope outside of myself that is moving mountains. Because now I know that God is with me, and with Him nothing is impossible. That mustard seed I found was the seed of growth and change and healing and community and freedom and JOY. So I am praying that you find your own mustard seed and can press into the HOPE God has for you. Because He’s able to move even this mountain.

 

*This piece was written for spoken word– stay tuned for a video soon!

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